Faith Under Pressure

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

 If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
James 1:2-8

As a believer, I have always recognized my inability to be led totally by the Spirit.  Our flesh loves to get in the way.  However, this has caused an internal struggle that I never anticipated and a burden God never intended for me to bare.  As I look at this scripture, I now see it in new light.  

My "humility" to see my own imperfections caused confusion and an inability to believe with confidence that God was speaking to my heart.  Thus, how could I ever walk in assurance?  For me, in many cases, this robbed me of the peace that God wanted me to have.  

First, I would start out believing God was directing me. He says He will (as noted above in James) and at times I felt it.  But, when unfavorable circumstances lingered or I didn't get the support I needed, doubt set in. I began to wonder if I heard what I wanted to hear out of selfishness or pride.  Maybe I just made it up.

While watching "The Bible" on Netflix the other night, Abraham's struggle spoke to my heart.  He loved God and was obedient but questioned God's promise to bring him a son.  He even took matters into his own hands.  I take comfort in knowing that such a faith-filled man of God struggled as I do.  He, like many others - Joseph, David and Moses went through long periods of testing where they asked "where are you God?".  Who am I to think I will not be challenged with these same struggles?  These stories are written so we can learn through them and avoid the same mistakes that others have made.  

When I was watching the story of King Saul, I couldn't help but feel heart broken for this man.  He was chosen and his sons could have ruled as kings for generations.  Instead, he chose to do things his own way and ultimately let fear destroy him.  It is a dangerous place to be when you believe God is not taking care of you and you must take matters into your own hands.  Saul's story does not end well.  It could have been different.

As I look back at this scripture now, I choose to believe that God is speaking to me. It is our choice to believe. It isn't even necessarily a feeling. It will never be a fact presented to us on a sheet of paper or an audible voice in our ear straight from God's throne, but rather a quiet whisper.  (1 Kings 19:11-12)  When you hear from God, there needs to be no plan B as stated in James. The steadfastness in believing, in spite of circumstances and lack of support, will bring the promise to fruition.