My Testimony - A Time to Be Rebuit

In October of 1998, I hit rock bottom.  I was abruptly thrown into a painful situation.  As things began to unfold, I began to question whether or not people could really change. For some time now, I realized that my joy was based on circumstances.  Things were good, I was happy.  Things were bad, I was scared.  I now knew who God was, but not much was changing in my life or my husband's.  Depression loomed it's ugly head and I felt there was no way out.  I had no joy, was losing self-esteem and didn't feel there was anyone with whom I could share.  I was embarrassed about my depression.  Not only did I not want my loved ones to know, I knew they would not understand.  God wasn't helping either; I was confused. This went on for 8 months and I was down to 87 lbs. Life could not go on this way. Either I needed some real answers from God or I was headed to counseling.

"It is possible to have wonderful family and friends and still be lonely."

My search for answers led me to this verse:
2 Corinthians 2:14 "I am grateful to God who ALWAYS makes it possible for Christ to lead us to victory."
Victory - having conquered an enemy in battle, successful in any struggle
Either the word of God was true or not?  I was determined to find out.


Once again (as in my previous testimony), God spoke to me in a powerful way.  In April of 1999, I attended a Women's Aglow meeting.  A woman spoke and then offered prayer after.  I was desperate for something.  She spoke over me, "Whose report will you believe?  You have a gentle and quiet spirit and inner-strength.  You have a desire to please the Lord and are called to prayer and spiritual warfare.  God is in the throne room and He is your daddy who says 'Come, and sit on my lap'.  You are released from your depression."


Then she gave me Isaiah 54 
The Message

^11-17 “Afflicted city, storm-battered, unpitied: I’m about to rebuild you with stones of turquoise, Lay your foundations with sapphires, construct your towers with rubies, Your gates with jewels, and all your walls with precious stones. All your children will have God for their teacher— what a mentor for your children! You’ll be built solid, grounded in righteousness, far from any trouble—nothing to fear!
far from terror—it won’t even come close! If anyone attacks you, don’t for a moment suppose that I sent them, And if any should attack, nothing will come of it. I create the blacksmith who fires up his forge and makes a weapon designed to kill. I also create the destroyer— but no weapon that can hurt you has ever been forged. Any accuser who takes you to court will be dismissed as a liar. 

This is what God’s servants can expect. I’ll see to it that everything works out for the best.”

 This beautiful verse speaks of being rebuilt with beautiful gemstones and it is filled with promises from God.

 

As I pursued God, more and more, He was faithful to answer.  The bottom line was trust. Did I trust Him to lead me?  Did I trust Him with my fears, my husband, my children? Did I believe His word was true for me?        

I knew I was on my way back to life.  This word was life-changing and my depression began to subside.  I found that there is peace and joy in God by letting Him have full reign in your life.  He was no longer just my Savior, but my Lord.  We really can have victory when we surrender to God's leading.

(I have posted more about victory in "Let's Talk Battle")
Read more of my testimony in "My Testimony - Losing It All".