Are You For or Against Us?

Joshua 5:13-14

When Joshua was by Jericho, he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, a man was standing before him with his drawn sword in his hand. And Joshua went to him and said to him, “Are you for us, or for our adversaries?”  And he said, “No; but I am the commander of the army of the Lord. Now I have come.” And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?”

With current event issues escalating, I felt God leading me to drown out all of the voices that were screaming in my head.  I wanted God's perspective.  What would He say?  That morning I decided to move towards God in a simple act of obedience.  In this case, I knew God was asking me to deactivate my FaceBook account.  

Later that evening, I was having trouble sleeping because of differing opinions that started an argument at an otherwise peaceful game night.

I was thinking of how I wish God would just give us His perspective on things and immediately, Joshua 5:13-14 came to mind.  I knew it was God speaking and decided to take a better look at Joshua's story the next day.

I stumbled upon this article and am so thankful for God's provision and enlightenment. It is my hope that all Christian's can glean something valuable from it in these hostile, divided times.

Here is the article:

https://bible.org/article/captain-lord%E2%80%99s-army-joshua-513-15

Now this is when it becomes very personal. A few days after that, a family discussion began about an upcoming trip we had planned to AZ. Differing opinions led to misunderstandings and assumptions and then hurtful words erupted.  Only God truly knows the heart, but I sincerely believe no one really wanted to hurt anyone, but the individual desires and stress of things not working out brought heat to the discussion.  

When I finally had time to let the heat settle and ask God for His perspective, He once again came to my rescue and I realized that what He had spoken a few days earlier was just as relevant in this situation.

God, what is my part, why am I agitated?  How can I have peace.  He gently reminded me that I cannot see the whole story.  Only He has all of the information and although we think our cause is just and noble or even Christian, we must go to Him for proper perspective first.  I thought I already had that.  I repented and He opened my eyes to see other perspectives.  Immediately, peace and love came.

As for our personal family discussion - When I asked, Lord, are you for or against a family trip to AZ, the answer was NO.  Lord, are you supporting this family member's viewpoint or this one's?  The answer was NO.  

We so desperately need God's viewpoint even when we are sure our cause is righteous or our view is Christian.  

Today while in prayer with a few friends, my head was bowed and I was looking at my arm in a blurry kind of way.  You know the look you need when you are looking at a 3D picture?  It was kind of like that. Part of my arm looked see-through.  Then I realized it was because my eyes were trying to put 2 different images together.  I closed 1 eye and had 1 picture and then closed the other eye to see a different one, but when I opened both eyes, I had a whole different picture and it was the one that I needed to function properly in my body.  I believe that was symbolic of God's perspective and the church body.  He, and only He sees the whole story.  I need to humbly go to Him in  full surrender to put perspectives together and see it afresh. It will still be imperfect, but much better.

In this personal story, one daughter's focus was her pregnancy and baby.  My other daughter's focus was letting go and trusting God.  Both important and both from the heart of God.  Now, I pray God, that you would merge these 2 perspectives into your plan and purpose for all of us.

And Joshua fell on his face to the earth and worshiped and said to him, “What does my lord say to his servant?

Where Are You God?

   2018 will not go down in history as being one of my favorite years.  I feel as though it has been a year of taking - things that I love and things I had hoped for.  The struggle has been to see and hear God through it all.  

However, I kept feeling God was mysteriously silent.  Still, my heart longed to hear His voice  To believe for everything He has for me and nothing else.  In fact, shouldn't I be hearing his voice more?  I have been a Christian for 40 + years.  Shouldn't things be getting clearer?

Today, as I cried out in desperation once again, I kept looking at the sun shining.  I definitely decided that today was not a day for venturing out.  It was just too cold. However, I decided as I have many times that maybe God was prompting me.  I decided to follow this trail even if it led to no new revelations, like so many times before.

I put my coat on and called for my dog.  I kept hoping that God would show up in all His glory pronouncing His great love for me or maybe sending miraculous solutions to my problems through someone I would surprisingly bump into.  

But alas, that isn't what happened.  I just couldn't stop thinking about the roaring wind rushing through the trees.  It was coming in waves as the ocean does and it was powerful and thunderous.  I thought of how it made me feel and the very reason I am drawn to nature.  Following this, many things began coming to my mind - ocean waves, blue sky, majestic trees, singing birds, laughing grandchildren, waterfalls, crunchy autumn leaves, flowers, earl grey tea, blackberries, soft fur on my dog, cool water, warm sun.  Was not the Lord already speaking to me through all of this - displaying His love, showering His blessings?  The older I get, the more sensitive I am to these things and maybe, just maybe, I am hearing and seeing God.  And much more than I realize.

Isaiah 55:12

You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.

Psalm 19:1-4

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of His hands.  Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they display knowledge.  There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.  Their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world.

Psalm 96:11-12

Let the heavens rejoice, let the earth be glad; let the sea resound, and all that is in it.  Let the fields be jubilant, and everything in them; let all the trees of the forest sing for joy.  

Song of Solomon 2:13

The fig tree ripens its figs, and the vines are in blossom; they give forth fragrance.  

Genesis 27:27

So he came near and kissed him.  And Isaac smelled the smell of his garments and blessed him and said, "See, the smell of my son is as the smell of a field that the Lord has blessed!

Romans 1:20

For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made.

Faith Under Pressure

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

 If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.
James 1:2-8

As a believer, I have always recognized my inability to be led totally by the Spirit.  Our flesh loves to get in the way.  However, this has caused an internal struggle that I never anticipated and a burden God never intended for me to bare.  As I look at this scripture, I now see it in new light.  

My "humility" to see my own imperfections caused confusion and an inability to believe with confidence that God was speaking to my heart.  Thus, how could I ever walk in assurance?  For me, in many cases, this robbed me of the peace that God wanted me to have.  

First, I would start out believing God was directing me. He says He will (as noted above in James) and at times I felt it.  But, when unfavorable circumstances lingered or I didn't get the support I needed, doubt set in. I began to wonder if I heard what I wanted to hear out of selfishness or pride.  Maybe I just made it up.

While watching "The Bible" on Netflix the other night, Abraham's struggle spoke to my heart.  He loved God and was obedient but questioned God's promise to bring him a son.  He even took matters into his own hands.  I take comfort in knowing that such a faith-filled man of God struggled as I do.  He, like many others - Joseph, David and Moses went through long periods of testing where they asked "where are you God?".  Who am I to think I will not be challenged with these same struggles?  These stories are written so we can learn through them and avoid the same mistakes that others have made.  

When I was watching the story of King Saul, I couldn't help but feel heart broken for this man.  He was chosen and his sons could have ruled as kings for generations.  Instead, he chose to do things his own way and ultimately let fear destroy him.  It is a dangerous place to be when you believe God is not taking care of you and you must take matters into your own hands.  Saul's story does not end well.  It could have been different.

As I look back at this scripture now, I choose to believe that God is speaking to me. It is our choice to believe. It isn't even necessarily a feeling. It will never be a fact presented to us on a sheet of paper or an audible voice in our ear straight from God's throne, but rather a quiet whisper.  (1 Kings 19:11-12)  When you hear from God, there needs to be no plan B as stated in James. The steadfastness in believing, in spite of circumstances and lack of support, will bring the promise to fruition. 

FAITH LIKE A CHILD – Matthew 18:3

 

 

 

 

Visiting my grandson Jonah is always a high energy experience -   lots of joy and exuberance for life going on there.  As my daughter, Genevieve was preparing dinner for the family; Jonah and I were working on pretend play dough cookies.  I was rolling and he was cutting and decorating.  He had picked out the cookie cutters that he wanted and placed them on the table.  As our cookie total was growing, I was noticing that we were getting quite low on the dough. 

As is my nature, I felt I needed to warn him that we were running out of dough and would not be able to complete all of the cookies he had anticipated.  “Jonah”, I said, “We are running out of dough and we will probably not be able to make those three last shapes.  Some of those cookie cutters are big and I only have this little piece of play dough left.”

Without batting an eye or even looking at me, he calmly said, “Yes, we will.”

Yes we will, I pondered.  Immediately, my mind went to what the Lord had been teaching me.  Part of the answer to our requests is always in the believing.  I thought I was quite good at this, but the Lord had begun to show me that my past disappointments had led me to put a wall of protection up.  I had become cautious.  Even my warning to Jonah was evidence of that.  I did not want him to be disappointed. 

“Lord?” I asked.  “Are you going to speak to me through this play dough and Jonah?  If this is so, I am ready.  Let me see what the faith of a little child can do.”  Normally, I wouldn’t even consider asking this, for I was sure to be disappointed because there was absolutely no evidence that this could be accomplished. 

I looked at the tiny piece of dough in my hands and decided I could roll it thin.  Maybe we could get 2 more cookies.  After all, there is a star shape left and we already made a star, so we don’t have to count that.  This gave me hope. 

But God didn’t need my help.  As I began to roll the dough thin for the 2 shapes, I began to feel God encouraging me not to settle for less.  Jonah had believed we could finish the last three cookie shapes and to my surprise . . . . not his, we did. 

Should I be surprised that God would speak to me through my grandson and play dough?  No, God says, unless you become like a little child.  To me, that means not letting past experiences cloud your vision.  Jonah has not had enough experiences to let this happen. 

According to your faith, be it unto you.  Matthew 19:29

All things are possible for those who believe.  Mark 9:23

4-3-2016

 

 

Rejoice In Expectation - Romans 12:12

 

 

 

 

 

On the evening of September 17th, I sold a blue dress that I had made from a vintage sheet and vintage pattern.  This event would prove to be a notable event in my walk with God for several reasons.  It would be an opportunity to rejoice and expect  - something God had been teaching me to do for a long time.

 

Now that might not sound super exciting to you, but for me, it was a huge struggle that would have the potential to help me understand a concept about God that is still hard for me to grasp.

 

Let's take a step back to my "Leave It To Beaver" childhood".  I want to first state that I grew up in a very loving and safe home.  My father was an excellent provider.  He was also very frugal, practical, responsible and in no way . . .  extravagant.  I have always valued those noble qualities in him.  In fact, I have strived to attain them in my own life. 

 

Somewhere along the way, I let that shape my view of God and myself.  In myself, I allowed it to produce feelings that left me feeling irresponsible, especially when we faced financial difficulties.  As for my father God, I could not see him as the extravagant God that He is.  In fact, as I type those words, I still struggle to believe it.  Compounded with my empathic personality, it produced an ongoing battle in my prayer life. 

• If my prayer request was too big, I would surmise that it was too extravagant to request.  Why should God grant that request when other people are suffering?  I do not deserve it.
• If my prayer request was too small, I would surmise that it was too trivial for God to care about and it shouldn't even matter to me.

Now, what does all of that have to do with selling a dress on Etsy?  A lot!

 

This was a chance to rejoice and expect.  When I sold the dress, I immediately remembered that my daughter, Lydia, wanted to use the dress in her wedding.  That was fine, because I had another sheet that was identical. But as soon as I had that thought, a fear came over me because I had not seen that sheet for a very long time.  The following day, I made a frantic search for the missing sheet. As I had suspected, it was gone.  No trace of it.

 

When I nervously shared this with God,  He directed me to rejoice for selling the dress and expect the return of the missing sheet.  I thought, okay, I can do this.  As the days went on, I was still frantically searching for the lost sheet and the reality was becoming all too clear.  IT WAS NOT IN MY HOUSE, therefore, it was gone.  I cried to God. I was striving with all my might to expect and rejoice, but I couldn't muster it up.  Again, I heard, rejoice.  I fearfully thanked God for allowing me to sell the dress and I sent it on its merry way in faith.  That was all I could do.

 

After 20 days of striving to expect, I was at a low.  As my husband and I drove home from a beautiful fall hike, he had no idea that I was having an angry discourse with God in my head.  It went something like this - "God, do your sheep really hear your voice?  Did you tell me to expect the sheet or did I make that up?  If I can't really hear your voice, then what is the point?  This is making a mockery of you and me.   If you told me this, it will be a testimony to you.  Do what you said you would do!"  Then I apologized and asked for forgiveness. 

 

After church the following day, I brought up the subject again with my daughter "Are you sure you don't have the sheet?"  We both remembered her giving it back after borrowing it for her dorm room.  Then she had a memory of some of her hall mates having borrowed some sheets.  She looked through some Instagram pictures and there it was - a picture of  my blue sheet hanging as a curtain in a friend's dorm room . . . hope.  I excitedly yelled, "Lydia, text her now."  Lydia did not share my enthusiasm and chuckled "Mom, I remember her giving me back a large stack of sheets."  This sapped some of my hope, but at least we were investigating.  Lydia calmly texted her friend who responded with a picture of my blue sheet sitting on the back seat of her car.  What rejoicing! 

 

And then, this came to my mind:  Suppose one of you has a hundred sheets and loses one of them. Doesn’t she leave the ninety-nine in the sewing room and go after the lost sheet until she finds it? And when she finds it, she joyfully puts it in her arms and goes home. Then she calls her friends and neighbors together and says, "REJOICE with me; I have found my lost sheet."

 

This was not just about a lost blue sheet; this was about my relationship with my Father God.

God is extravagant.  My request is not too small.  It is not too trivial for God to care.  It matters.

 

 

(If you would like to read my experience with "big requests", check out "My Testimony - Losing It All"  http://lorradams.blogspot.com/p/my-testimony-part-2.html )

Is Love Winning

#IsLoveReallyWinning

 

 

This was a sad couple of days for me.  The world is joining together to stop the “haters”.  Unfortunately, hatred is being disguised in the name of love - doublespeak.  

The landmark Supreme Court decision has now made gay marriage legal.  Unknowingly, I happened to be on FB shortly after the decision.  I read a comment that a friend had posted and I couldn’t agree more.  The comment was something to the effect that America was going down the tubes.  I thought to myself, “I could agree with that.  There are so many problems - from financial collapse to GMO’s to sexual abuse, and a failing medical system.”

Unfortunately, I was not prepared to read the hateful comments that followed that post.  My heart was immediately saddened.  What followed that post was an ugly discourse all related to the Supreme Court decision.  (The comment was removed, I am assuming, because the backlash to that statement was so severe). 

As I continued on FB, the hashtag #lovewins was flooding the feed.  Along with this came some very disturbing comments directed towards Christians.  One that caught my eye was: “Can't decide if I am happier that gay marriage is legal or that conservative Christians are angry? win/win”, followed by this comment: “I'm a rotten person. I'm tickled over the outrage.”

I commented on the post, not about homosexuality, but rather about love winning through our speech. My friend graciously apologized in a loving manner and we moved on, although others were not so gracious.  I never stated any opinions on my stance on gay marriage, but only that we should be able to love one another despite our differences.  The responses I got were angry, “No, you're haters. The idea that anybody would have to live their lives by your belief system in a "free" country astounds me. I'm elated that the conservatives are freaking out. The lesson here as it always has been is, mind your own business.”

I thought of the scripture: A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)  I was really hoping that this would be the case.  What ensued was comments about me that were untrue and I realized that to some, I will always be a label.  No amount of discourse will break through.  The soft answer turned away my wrath, my anger, but not Kevin’s (the man I was conversing with).   As I looked at Kevin’s FB page, my heart opened up to make room for him.  Only God could do this.  Later, my friend told me that he had been the victim of hate crimes.  In church the following day, my emotions led me to tears.

We have a hard job ahead of us.  One of those things will be repairing the damage that the church has done to those who are suffering greatly.  Many in the church have not felt the pain of those, who are truly suffering. We have offered little or no hope or understanding for them - only a standard that they can’t reach.  My heart is grieving.  I have to be ready for the anger and hatred.

Friends Stick Together

July 12, 2012, I wrote in my journal - Today was a good day - holding hands and jumping in the waves with my grand-daughter Klara.  As she held my hands tightly, she said, "friends stick close together."  I thought - You're so right, Klara, you're so right.

Shortly before that entry, I had a dream that I was sharing a message to young adults.  I had no plan and I was anxious.  As I looked around the room, I saw people laughing, joking and having fun.  This scripture came to my mind. Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends must himself be friendly, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

I never saw Jesus as this type of friend, but this dream spoke to me that He was.  He is relational, enjoyable, and approachable. 

Another important lesson came to me one Sunday through Times Square Church.  Mary and Martha – Martha was concerned with details, Mary was concerned with relationship.  She spared no expense, sharing with not only Jesus, but his disciples as well.  She paid close attention to Him, listening to every word. 

Luke 10:38-42 ^“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

Details are good, but relation comes first.